Life With Lyme And PANS

  The hardest part about writing this was figuring out where to begin. It's been so crazy to look back and see how intrusive thoughts have taken over my entire life. One of them being death. All day, every day that was the only thought on my mind. And I never had anyone to tell that to. It was just me alone in my mind. I was very young when it was made pretty clear that I was no longer wanted in my family and I never felt like I had anyone to talk to. Although they never actually sent me away, I was always alone, usually in my room, sometimes outside. So this is going to be a story about just one of the many intrusive thoughts involving death that I had.  It hurts a lot to look back and think about this one. I was born into an amazing life with a loving family. We had everything we needed and two big, happy families on each side. That is still how it is, just without me, of course. So, growing up, my grandparents would call each of their kids' houses every night. No matter what