Documentary

I've been talking to a legit production company about making this documentary so that it will be a real deal movie. I'm also funding it by myself and it would be much appreciated if you checked out the Patreon. I'm not asking for donations- I'm putting a lot of time and energy into those blogs. Never mind humiliating myself, hahah, and I will add more things as time goes on. Of course, there's no pressure; I'm just being honest. I genuinely believe this can be a very good, successful documentary. I've thought about it every day for years and am finally at a point where I can move forward with my life and these upcoming treatments. It'll probably be extremely dark at times but maybe a little lighthearted at other times. Idk yet. It'll be what it'll be. I just believe that this is what I was meant to do because it's so ridiculous how no one knows about this hell and that we have to wait 16 years to find out what's wrong. Anyway, I appreciate your support, even just reading these blogs. It really means a lot. 

I also made sweatshirts if anyone is interested.

A better description:

 The main reason for starting a Patreon is to help pay for the filming of a documentary I am going to be starting soon. Here is the link to the page: Patreon

The blog on there now is about a therapist I saw when I was younger, at a time when no one knew/believed that something was wrong with me. It was an extremely painful time and no one was there to help. 

Here's a little bit of it:

"I had this therapist when I was a senior in high school, who I actually kind of liked. Before her, I was just being passed around to different people who were all trying to tell me what to do and what was wrong with me. There was never any asking how I was or what was going on. This therapist was the first person to ever sit down with me to talk about things."

....

"So, to sum it up, I sat there staring at the floor, paralyzed with fear, panic, and anger while the two of them basically ripped me apart for just being a horrible person and failing at life. It was horrible. I can look back at many things and see them from different perspectives, but this was bad. I know it was. I felt so alone. More alone than ever."

....

"Here I was thinking I was going to tell them how much I wanted to die and how no one seemed to care, but instead, we’re just going to tell me how lazy and stupid I am. Amazing."

The next blog will be about growing up when people would find out "who I really am" and how that affected me. I would basically shut down and was never able to function because I was so humiliated. I didn't realize that until recently. I always just thought that something was so wrong with me but it was really the humiliation that left me unable to function as a normal human being. 

This is the description on Patreon for the doc:

I am very excited to start working on a documentary in a few months. It is going to be showing what life with these two diseases is like and the treatments we go through.

If you read my story, you would know that I went about 16 years undiagnosed with PANS and it has been another 2 of trying different treatments. I have found many videos from when I was a kid/teenager that are so humiliating but inspired me to do something with all of this. These are basically videos and recordings of my atrocious behavior because that was what got me to stop every time.

I am hopefully going to be starting a new treatment soon which is when the filming will begin.

The main reason for starting this Patreon is to pay for the filming of this documentary because it is going to be a very expensive project.

On this Patreon I will be posting much more personal and at times humiliating stories. But that is what life with this disease is like.

In the future I might start doing some kind of interviews if anyone would be interested. I'm not doing great at the moment so I can't commit to anything right now but maybe when things start getting better.

Thank you for your support and I hope everything is going okay for you all.

Please feel free to share this.