Idk

It's 3:00am and I am so overwhelmed. I can't sleep just thinking about everything. I've lost everyone. I'v been completely isolated for the past 5 years and before that I was always alone besides being at school. My life was over when I got sick 18 years ago and I am so scared that it's not going to get better. I was looking forward to IVIG but I just found out that it's not a cure? I don't understand. I thought it was the last thing left to do. Am I going to be doing it the rest of my life? Or is there something else? I don't know. I also know my Lyme needs meds because my eyes are so screwed up. Bell's palsy. I never had that before. I was always on some kind of meds pretty much my entire life because I was always sick. I guess those were helping more than I thought. The whole screwed up eyes thing started after I had my PICC line taken out 5 years ago and decided to only use naturopathic medicine because I couldn't do it anymore. They were still screwed up while doing Bicillin shots. It's not only kinda embarrassing but it is SO uncomfortable. My eyes were looking 2 different ways for the first 19 years of my life (lazy eye- got surgery to fix it) and this is so much worse. I literally have to close one eye to see anything. It's just so uncomfortable. 

Anyway, I would really like some insight into what the deal is with IVIG. I'm 22 and have been sick forever. It's supposed to be 6 months of it. I just don't know. 

Sorry this probably wasn't even English. I'm so tired but can't sleep with all this crap.